If you really want to start fighting capitalism, you’re going to have to start accepting your friends’ help. This may seem like an easy task (maybe it is for some people.) But it’s a free and easy way to fight the individualism epidemic that is capitalism.
What do I mean by this? When we’re sick, and someone says, “Can I bring you soup?” most of us don’t say, “Yes, thank you.” We say, “No, no, I’m fine!”
Even when we are very obviously not fine.
The thing is, we’re going to need this metaphorical soup either way. So we have two options. We can pay an arm and a leg to have whatever we need delivered through Instacart, or we can let someone who loves us give us this act of service and deepen our friendship in the process.
Capitalism has convinced us that independence is the ultimate goal. That being self-sufficient is somehow morally superior. That needing people is a weakness. That if we can do it ourselves, we should.
But we’re all here reading this because we want to be part of a community, and community doesn’t work that way, it requires interdependence.
I was sick last month, and I’ve had so many friends offer to help by bringing me soup, medicine, or whatever else. And do you know how many people I said yes to?
One. Person.
Meanwhile, I spent the week prior making videos on the social medias telling people they should accept help while simultaneously struggling to do the exact same thing myself.
Which honestly feels very on brand.
Because even though I deeply believe in building community, I still have this voice inside me that says, you don’t need anything – you can do it yourself.
And technically, that voice isn’t wrong. I can do it myself.
I have every food delivery service subscription you can think of: Instacart, Uber Eats, DoorDash. These apps are great and convenient, but in this instance, it’s a great way to avoid relying on other people and avoid feeling like a burden.
But I don’t want to anymore. I want to build a life where my community and I can rely on each other for support so we can shed this individualistic system we grew up in.
But our current system and messaging is kind of the point. Capitalism has made it possible for us to outsource community by paying for it.
Need groceries? Schedule an Instacart delivery.
Need help cleaning? Hire a housekeeper.
Need your fence fixed? Hire someone from Task Rabbit.
Need a ride? Call a Lyft.
And while there’s nothing inherently wrong with using these services, I do think something gets lost when every human need becomes a monetized transaction, which ends up just making the rich richer.
Relationships are forged when we allow other people in – and in this case, it’s to let your community take care of you when you need it.
That’s the part I struggle with.
I’m great at showing up for people (overachiever). I love being helpful (people pleaser). But letting someone else help me means admitting I’m vulnerable; it opens me up to be hurt, let down, or shamed.
And every time I automatically say, “No, I’m okay,” I’m unintentionally pushing that friend a little farther away. Because relationships need reciprocity. And saying yes gives the relationship the opportunity to grow.
I don’t think disentangling ourselves from capitalism is just about where we spend our money. I think it’s also about relearning how to depend on one another. Which sounds beautiful in theory and deeply uncomfortable in practice. It takes a long time to change these deeply ingrained habits!
So if someone offers to help you, maybe try saying yes.
And if that feels awkward and uncomfortable and surprisingly difficult?
That makes sense. I’m still practicing how to fight capitalism too.
